Why is emotional abuse not considered as violence for many people? People should be aware of the damage that emotional abuse can cause. While doing my research about emotional violence I found many comments from people saying things like “Abuse isn't abuse unless you hit” or “To say emotional abuse is as bad as violence insults every battered wife” (1 dailymail.com) Emotional abuse is as bad as physical and sexual abuse. It's harder to show and prove. A black eye is there for everyone to see. A general sense of worthlessness caused by years of insults is not.

When we think of abuse we think of the physical contact, the kind that leaves bruises, broken bones and blood. But in my opinion we should we think about mental and emotional abuse just as much. Many people may believe that emotional abuse is not violence just because it does not involve physical aggression.  Emotional abuse is more than only painful words. It is a lifestyle that many people think is normal. This form of abuse creates emotional pain and mental anguish. It is a lie told to you or about you (2 verbalabuse.com).

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Emotional abuse, while it leaves no marks, can sometimes be the hardest type of abuse to understand in a relationship. It's hard to imagine that someone who "loves you" could abuse you -- and besides, it's just words, right? It's not like you're being BEATEN (3 cafemom.com). The painful truth is that bruises, broken bones and physical lesions can heal, emotional abuse can last a lifetime. Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging as physical abuse and spreading the awareness is essential in our society.

When you are emotionally abused, you are being abused from the inside out. When you go out, it might not be as noticeable as a physical mark and could be a reason why people don’t think is that important. People that have been through emotional abuse like me can agree that too often we hear some many people saying “just leave”  as if this will be such a simple thing to do, but we just can’t. It takes a lot of courage to do it.

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In many ways, emotional abuse is more psychologically harmful than physical abuse. Verbal abuse is so devastating because the victims will blame themselves. If someone hits you, it's easier to see that he or she is the problem, but if the abuse is subtle - saying or implying that you're ugly, a bad parent, stupid, incompetent, not worth attention, or that no one could love you - you are more likely to think it's your problem. Emotional abuse seems more personal than physical abuse, more about you as a person, more about your spirit. It makes love hurt (4 psychology today.com).

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Victims of emotional abuse could be dealing with depression, anxiety, low self esteem and many other mental illness disorders due to the emotional damage. A relationship where verbal abuse is present  is a greatest predictor of physical violence. Therefore, any woman who has been emotionally abused is also at risk of murder or suicide (5 spingtideresources.com). Another situation that victims can experience is Stockholm Syndrome which  is also common in long-term abuse. In Stockholm Syndrome, the victim is so terrified of the abuser that the victim overly identifies and becomes bonded with the abuser in an attempt to stop the abuse. The victim will even defend their abuser and their emotionally abusive actions (6 Healthyplace.com).  I personally think that the damage created by the abuser to the victim in an emotional abuse relationship can lead to the victim to think everything they do and say is normal, but not it is not normal!

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Emotional abuse is considered common, but statistics are hard to come by, since it's difficult to legally document demeaning behavior until it involves a threat and because so many are unsure about what it is. People should be aware that emotional abuse is violence. This type of violence leads to an unhealthy emotional state. In the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence is stated that 48.4% of women and 48.8% of men have experienced at least one psychologically aggressive behavior by an intimate partner. Those numbers are high, what makes the abuser believe that they can hurt their partner like that?

 

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“One of the most damaging things about emotional abuse is that it distorts your vision, causing you to see a false reflection in the mirror. It causes you to distrust what your eyes see and what your heart feels deep down,” explains psychologist Gregory Jantz in his book, “Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse” (7 movingforwardthorughdivorce.com).

 

 

 

 

 

People don't really know what emotional abuse is. A lot of people don't even know it exists. "You shouldn't hit your wife" is a pretty popular concept, and even abusers know it's wrong most of the time. But "you shouldn't tell your husband he's good for nothing" or "you shouldn't make fun of your child's intelligence whenever they make a mistake" aren't nearly as popular. Create awareness that emotional abuse is as painful and damaging as physical violence, is the key point that can lead to many people to understand that living in a relationship like that is not mentally healthy. We have to understand what is normal and what is not. To be self compassion is helpful. Self-compassion is the ability to recognize when you are hurt, with a motivation to heal or improve. The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal.